


and she means everything to me

by afire



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/F, anyway this is based off of a tumblr post, thanks love y'all, thats it oh my god theres no one else, this is the height of rilaya fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 09:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8097373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afire/pseuds/afire
Summary: Riley and Maya, through the ages. (or: little snapshots of their lives that might mean nothing, but then again might mean a lot)





	

The thing is, Maya doesn’t know where they’re going. Okay, that’s a lie, they’re driving in the general direction of San Francisco, but right now the highway is deserted and Maya is pretty sure if they keep driving they _will_ accidentally stumble upon Area 51 and subsequently become fugitives from the government.

She thinks back to the afternoon, when Riley had showed up with one bag, mouth set in a determined line. Maya hadn’t asked any questions, just picked up her own bag and iPod, following Riley out to the car and getting into the driver’s seat.

Now it’s almost midnight and Maya thinks maybe they might be driving away from something rather than toward.

Riley is sleeping in the passenger seat, has been sleeping for a while now, and Maya thinks if she stops the car then Riley will wake up, so she drives on. She doesn’t stop to think about why she doesn’t just pull over, because if the worst that can happen is Riley waking up, then maybe they should just find somewhere to rest for the night.

(Maybe it’s because the bags under Riley’s eyes are worse than Maya’s own, or maybe it’s because Maya doesn’t think Riley has had a good night’s sleep in a long, long time.)

It would be so selfish to say it’s difficult, even though it is. Maya doesn’t think she’s ever had to experience a situation as difficult as this. It’s not just this impromptu road trip, or even anything else, really, because all the little things are alright. Maya can deal with the little things, has dealt with them before, even. It’s the fact that all the little things have been happening in quick succession and building up into a giant ball of a collective big thing.

It’s the big thing that Maya’s afraid of.

She knows she isn’t the most agreeable person, most of the time she goes looking for fights to start because it’s just so boring if there isn’t three arguments happening at the same time, and Maya is so jittery that she needs those three concurrent arguments to happen so that she can focus. It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t feel it themselves, needing chaos to be able to feel calm.

Riley has never asked, has never probed, has never made Maya feel like she’s unorthodox or abnormal or anything other than herself. All Riley has done is sit and listen and hold her hand, and some days that’s enough. Most days, actually, it’s enough. Maya doesn’t feel like punching a wall just so she can feel _something_ other than the cold void that’s forming in her gut, and hey, Riley is holding her hand.

So it would be selfish to say this is difficult, when Riley has been there for so, so very long. When all she’s been is patient and kind and understanding, even when Maya lashes out, screaming because there’s so much pent-up energy in her limbs that needs to go somewhere before she explodes.

Riley has never screamed back.

And Maya is better now, better than she’s ever been. She feels more at home in her own skin, in control of her emotions and able to restrain herself from swinging fists when they don’t need to be swung. It’s Riley that’s put her here, with slow-burning determination and so much love that sometimes Maya chokes on it.

It’s only fair then, that somewhere along the way, she’s realized that she’s in love with Riley. No, that’s not right. It was less of a realization and more of an acceptance, as though she knew it all along and it just took her some time to come to terms with it.

And that’s the tipping point really, the reason why they’re here now, driving down a highway, Maya’s hands gripping the steering wheel just a little tighter than usual. If she’s being honest with herself, there are lots of other reasons.

(Riley not being able to sleep, calling at four in the morning and breathing heavily into her phone, Maya begging her to stay on the line while she hightails it to her apartment, vaulting herself through the window and sitting next to Riley, holding her until she stops shaking.

The fact that they never go to the arcade anymore, when Riley used to love it there, burning through half her allowance in the form of quarters. Maya thinks it’s the bright lights and the loud music, but she knows it’s a lot more than that.

Riley forgetting to eat, shaking her head numbly when Maya asks if she’s had breakfast during their walk to school. She’s taken to bringing along something extra so Riley has something to eat during lunch, because she doesn’t bring money or food anymore.)

The little clock on the dashboard says 12:37 and the radio is on, playing some Top 40 hit softly. Maya sighs, watching as her breath materializes in front of her and immediately going to turn the heating up, even though Riley is probably wearing three layers and has a blanket on top of her.

“I love you,” she says, and it feels like a weight off her shoulders, even if Riley doesn’t hear her. It’s easier this way, because Maya knows Riley has enough on her plate right now, too much even. It’s easier because Maya has never been one to talk about her feelings, choosing instead to swallow everything. It’s easier because she’s finally said it, even though some part of her wishes she could tell Riley for real, straight to her face, defences stripped bare, ripping her heart out of her chest and giving it to the girl it already belongs to. The other part of her is thankful Riley is asleep, because this isn’t a conversation that they need to have now.

Maya drives on with the knowledge that they’ll talk about it, one day. These things are bound to come to the surface, anyway.

* * *

 

The alarm rings at eight in the morning and Maya reaches out a hand to smack at the clock, blearily blinking open her eyes and staring at the ceiling, smiling vacantly when she sees the glow-in-the-dark stars that have been stuck up there.

Riley had insisted, with puppy-dog eyes and a smile so wide it stretched across half her face. Maya couldn’t have said no if someone put a gun to her head and demanded it. They had leaped right over authenticity, instead just sticking the stars up every which way, laughing when they were done and taking a nap right then, waking up a little before five in the afternoon, Riley grumbling about a messed up sleep schedule, Maya complaining about being hungry.

She smiles at the memory, stretching absent-mindedly before turning onto her side and poking Riley gently in the gut. Her girlfriend squirms, frowning slightly before cuddling closer to her. Maya laughs breathlessly, leaning forward to dust kisses over Riley’s face, grinning when her eyes pop open.

“Get up, Riles, you have to go to work.”

“Five more minutes.”

Maya shakes her head, pulling away and sitting up, stretching her arms in front of her and cracking her knuckles. “Five more minutes always turns into ten, and then fifteen, and then you’re late.”

Riley wrinkles her nose, curling up into a ball under the covers in an attempt to absorb as much heat as possible before she has to pad into the cold bathroom. Sunlight is pouring in from the windows and staining their pillows gold, and Maya has never been sentimental or romantic or any of that crap, but right in that moment, she thinks Riley looks more goddess than girl.

“Riley.”

“Alright, alright, I’m up.”

“I’ll make breakfast.”

*****

Incidentally, the only thing Maya knows how to make is eggs, and even then she’s still a little wary of setting off the smoke detector. (She would say it’s never happened before, but it has.) She’s in the middle of grabbing bread to put in the toaster when Riley appears in the kitchen doorway, busy pulling her hair back into a braid.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”

Riley pouts, reaching into the fridge for orange juice and hip-checking Maya gently so she can get to the clean cups in the dishwasher. “Eight is too early to function, school needs to start at like, noon, or one.”

“I’m sure all the kids will agree with you, but as of now you’re due to leave in fifteen minutes so sit down and eat.”

Maya pushes a plate of scrambled eggs and toast next to Riley’s glass of orange juice, making a cup of coffee for herself before sitting down opposite her. “Don’t eat too fast,” she says, watching sceptically as Riley shovels a forkful of eggs into her mouth.

Her girlfriend swallows, shrugging, “I’m hungry.”

“Half an hour ago you were barely awake.”

“You know what’s not fair?”

“The fact that you always use all the hot water in the morning?”

“No- well, I mean, that too, I’m sorry, but the fact that you don’t even have a schedule.”

Maya gasps loudly, putting a hand to her chest in mock horror, “I do _too_ have a schedule. It’s wake up, make breakfast, doodle some stuff and make a painting and then go pick you up from work. And on _Tuesdays_ I do those art classes!”

Riley finishes off her orange juice, narrowing her eyes at Maya for a second before smiling cheerily, “The kids love you.”

“They love you more.”

“ _Duh_.”

Maya laughs, eyes widening as she glances at the clock. “Look you’re gonna be late.”

Riley spins around to check for herself, groaning as she stands up. “I woke up so _early_ too.”

Maya rolls her eyes affectionately, ushering her girlfriend toward the door, planting a quick kiss on her cheek before handing over her coat. “Go to work, I’ll pick you up later with pizza and a slushie.”

Riley beams, “You’re the best, I love you.”

“I know, and I love you, too. Have fun at work.”

Riley breezes out the door and Maya smiles vacantly to herself before heading back to the kitchen to clean up.

* * *

They’re shopping. Maya wouldn’t exactly say she _hates_ shopping because it’s a good activity to indulge in when you have copious amounts of time and aren’t financially stressed, but her fingers are itching for a pencil and she left her sketchbook in the car.

Riley is in one of the changing rooms with about half the shop, and Maya is sitting outside waiting for her, absentmindedly checking her phone for new messages and scrolling through her Instagram.

The curtain swooshes open. Maya looks up and almost drops her phone.

Riley is wearing a purple sundress, the skirt of which is decorated in pretty white lilies, climbing upwards and fading away in a gradient. “What do you think?”

Maya blinks twice before registering the words, and even then her brain feels like it just short-circuited. “Uh- I mean, you look great, you should get it.”

Riley twirls in a circle and this time Maya _does_ drop her phone, albeit safely into her lap.

“I don’t know, it seems a little tacky.”

“What? No- what? Definitely not, it looks great on you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I love you.” Shit, that was _not_ what she meant to say. “I mean uh- what? Yeah, totally sure.”

It’s too late, Riley is already laughing, breath escaping her in short bursts as she doubles over, clutching at her middle in an attempt to staunch the giggles.

Maya puffs her cheeks out, picking up her phone and stuffing it into her pocket. “It’s not that funny.”

Riley wipes at her eyes, standing up straight and clenching her jaw to stop herself from laughing. “I’m sorry, it’s really not, I just- it was unexpected.” And then she’s laughing again, reaching up with one hand to cover her mouth.

Maya shuffles around in her seat, trying to get her feelings in check. She isn’t an inherently emotional person, and usually doesn’t like talking about how she feels. Riley sort of breaks down all of her barriers, sometimes it feels like the other girl is reaching into her heart to pull all her emotions out. It’s not something she dislikes, but she’s gotten accustomed to being ready for when Riley scoops her feelings out, getting caught unawares like this is new and distinctly uncomfortable.

“Hey.”

Maya’s head shoots up, having not noticed Riley walking over to sit next to her. She instinctively shifts, tilting herself slightly to the left so Riley can sit facing her comfortably. “Done laughing?”

“Oh, Maya, I’m sorry about that. It was just unexpected, I wasn’t really laughing _at_ you.”

“It sure seemed like it.”

“Peaches.”

Maya looks up, mouth twitching in an effort not to smile at Riley and the earnest, open expression on her face. “Riles.”

“I love you, too, like, a lot. I don’t even know how to explain how much, it’s like having a cup full of water but leaving the faucet running and just letting all the water overflow and the water that overflows just goes right back into the faucet and it’s just never-ending.”

Maya frowns, then scrunches up her face in confusion. “Yeah, I don’t get it.”

Riley rolls her eyes good-naturedly, leaning forward to press a kiss on Maya’s nose. “I just love you a lot, okay? And I promise not to laugh ever again when you say you love me.”

Maya contemplates it for a moment before letting herself smile, stealing a quick kiss before sighing. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, honey.”

“I’m serious!”

“I know.”

*****

Riley bought the dress. Really, she was going to buy it anyway, Maya feels a little betrayed but she gets over it during dinner.

They’re crowded in the tiny bathroom in an attempt to brush their teeth at the same time. Maya sighs and steps backward, deciding to relent and wait her turn to brush properly. She glances up at the mirror, catching Riley’s eye and smiling unconsciously. The words are tumbling from her lips before she knows what’s happening. “Hey, I love you.”

Riley doesn’t even falter, reaching for the cup of water and then spitting into the sink, spinning around to kiss Maya on the nose. Her breath smells minty fresh and Maya thinks her knees go weak. “I love you, too, peaches. Now brush your teeth and come to bed.”

She breezes out of the bathroom, leaving Maya to stare at her reflection in the mirror, holding onto a toothbrush laden with toothpaste and looking a little struck dumb. She brushes her teeth methodically, wiping down the sink before flicking the lights off and padding into the bedroom softly, just in case Riley is already asleep.

She isn’t, and today she’s claimed the pillow that has ‘little spoon’ written on it in bold, black cursive. Maya sighs, sliding into bed and bunching up the ‘big spoon’ pillow before Riley shuffles backward and pulls her arm over her waist.

“Look, if I stick my cold toes into the backs of your knees at two in the morning it is not my fault.”

Riley laughs, the sound muffled because she’s stuck her head halfway into the pillow. “Okay, but no stealing the covers.”

“No promises.”

“Of course.”

“Goodnight, Riles.”

“Goodnight, peaches.”

* * *

In all honesty, Maya doesn’t really know how she ends up in situations like these. To be absolutely fair, she sort of started it, but Riley takes everything she says far too seriously, as usual. Not that Maya is complaining, of course.

They’re running around their front yard, Riley is yelling something incoherent, Maya is laughing as she ducks and twirls, spinning around to avoid the stream of water that shoots out of Riley’s water gun. She jumps behind the large apple tree to catch her breath, counting to ten in her head before jumping out and jamming her thumb on the trigger.

Riley shrieks as the cold water hits her on her back, soaking right through the shirt she put on that morning. It’s Maya’s shirt and utterly too small for her, and now it’s translucent as well. Maya mentally congratulates herself on her small victory, but her impromptu tap dance is interrupted by Riley raising her own water gun and smiling. For the record, Riley’s smiles are usually wide and infinitely happy, as if she’s simultaneously experiencing every single joyful thing in the world. This smile is not that smile. This smile is very much a ‘you better run right now’ thing.

Maya isn’t dumb. She runs.

Riley chases her around the yard, shooting haphazardly. Half the time the water falls harmlessly onto the grass, the other half is what causes Maya to pause and make what is probably one of her most impulsive decisions.

She climbs the apple tree.

Now, Maya isn’t some professional tree climber or anything, so she thinks she’s doing a pretty good job, especially since she has to hold onto her water gun so Riley doesn’t get _her_ weapon as well. By the time she stops climbing she’s a little more than halfway up the tree, sitting on a branch that she had assumed could hold her weight. Insofar, the branch is doing well, so Maya allows herself to relax against the trunk, peering down through the leaves to see if she can spot Riley.

She can’t, but that doesn’t really matter because a second later her girlfriend is shouting up at her.

“Peaches! What are you doing?”

Maya contemplates not answering her but quickly shoves that thought aside because Riley would probably call the fire department and the police and fucking NASA panicking about the fact that her girlfriend is probably dead in an apple tree.

“I’m surviving! That’s what you do in war!”

The gentle sound of Riley’s laughter floats up through the foliage and Maya allows herself to smile, because she deserves to be happy too.

“Are you going to stay up there forever?”

“I will if I have to!”

“There’s nothing to eat!”

Maya scoffs, reaching forward to pluck what looks like a ripe apple from one of the branches and takes a huge bite. “I beg to differ!”

“You can’t survive on apples forever!”

Maya picks up her gun from where it’s resting beside her and shoots what’s left of her ammo in the vague direction of Riley’s voice. “Watch me!”

A shriek echoes upward and Maya laughs, biting into her apple again as she catches glimpses of Riley hopping around, pulling at her wet shirt. “That’s what you get!”

There’s silence for a minute or two while Maya finishes off her apple, and she’s just starting to get worried when a face pops up next to her.

“Peaches!”

“Holy fu-! Riles!”

Riley settles on the branch next to hers, leaning forward with a grin. “I had to leave the gun down there because I needed both hands to climb.”

Maya settles back against the trunk, smiling contentedly and lifting the hand that’s holding the apple. “Glad you could join me, we can stay up here forever and live on apples.”

“Yeah about that, I wish I could but dinner is in the oven and it’s going to be ready in like a second-”

The faint sound of beeping cuts through their conversation and Riley is wearing her ‘told you so’ expression as she gets ready to climb back down the tree. Maya sighs, finishing her apple and tossing the core to the ground.

She winces sheepishly at Riley’s glare, “Natural plant food?”

“You better hope it’s natural plant food.”

“It won’t kill the tree if that’s what you’re saying.”

Riley stands up on a lower branch, taking a deep breath before starting her climb down, looking up at Maya as she begins to descend. “Coming?”

“In a little bit.”

Riley smiles at her and something warm blooms in Maya’s stomach.

“Wash your hands before you sit down.”

Maya laughs and nods, picking up her water gun and laying it in her lap so she won’t forget it later when she returns to the ground.

It’s a minute or two before she hears the faint thump that signals Riley reaching the ground safely, and it’s another few seconds before her voice swings up through the branches. “Maya?”

“Yeah?”

Her next sentence is more of a shout than anything else. “I love you!”

Maya grins, letting her head fall back on the trunk with a gentle thud before she replies, allowing her voice to crescendo. Fuck the neighbours.

“I love you, too!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> hi y'all this is based off [this](http://thecosmicgirl.tumblr.com/post/149547680626/different-types-of-i-love-yous-slides-off-the) post on tumblr because i saw it and got the writing itches, i actually managed to cough this up in about four days so i'm pretty proud of myself, usually it takes me a month and a half to get anything done, and that's when i actually get stuff done. anyway you can find me on [tumblr](taylorswift.co.vu) if you wanna chat or complain about my writing or stuff like that. have a nice day!!


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